Why is there still stigma around choosing to be childfree?

There is a view that this topic is sexist, it feels like the question of having children or wanting to have children is always put on the women and that they are scrutinised when they voice that they don’t want to have children. When it comes to men, they seem to receive less backlash when they express that having children is not something that they want.

The negative response women can receive when they voice that they do not want to have children can also stem from previous generations where a woman’s “job” was to have children and rare them while men worked. The world we all live in now does not facilitate that lifestyle for everyone anymore. There has been a huge societal change, some families cannot afford to have only one single income. The cost of raising a family is increasing all the time which impacts peoples decision on having children too.

Women are finally being recognised as a critical part of the workforce. Due to this, for some women they are more career focused and this takes priority over having children. Women can also miss out on career progression and promotions due to being on maternity leave which highlights the inequalities between men and women when deciding to prioritise having children or their career.

For some people, experiencing a childhood where parents were absent or not nurturing can influence their decision to not have children. Some people fear having a poor relationship or experience with their family will then start a new cycle of poor relationships with their own children.

Some women do not and have never identified themselves as a mother. In some cultures, part of a woman’s identity is motherhood. It is important to be aware and remember that this is not the case for everyone. As individuals we make our own choices about our life and body, this includes reproduction and motherhood.

When women do disclose that they don’t want to have children they are often dismissed and met with the response “oh you’ll change your mind”. This can make it very difficult for women to voice their perspectives of why having children is not for them and they can become isolated because of this.

Personally, I do want to have children. Even though this is something that I do want for myself I can understand why women chose not to. No two people have the same journey in life and just because having children can appear to be the natural thing to do people do have valid reasons for not doing so. We should listen and respect everybody’s wishes and not try to force societal norms onto women who do not want to have children.

-Tia